Now, I don't drive. I come from up North where the pub is more important than "getting around". I couldn't handle the driving lessons, too much of multi-limb action for me and I can't get the hang of it. Oh I know the vital part that a car would play in my life.
If I DID drive, I know for a fact that my wife already has a destination planned. Not the sublime Galway sands, not the elegant majesty of the York city walls but IKEA. Cool, lets pick up some crazily named furniture, which to me sounds dirty - the english language is such that ANY word can be made to mean either drunk by adding 'ed' (carpet 'ed', floor'ed' catalogu 'ed') or can mean a pair of breasts (loaves, mice, Hapsburgs). Swedish is AWESOME for this and turns me into a 13 schoolboy when I leaf through the GROOVY catalogue. BODÖ, Aspelund, Dilling and Fjellend and my personal favourite RAMBERG! Although shouting "Get your Fjellends out!" while totally "catalogued" may add a degree of Euro-sophistication, it is just as unlikely as English to achieve the desired outcome.
Anyway my new thing for the day - Ikea was founded by Ingvar Kamprad with IKEA being a rather catchy anacronym Ingvar Kamprad Elmtaryd (the farm where he grew up)Agunnaryd (his home county in Småland) *giggle giggle*
Well if I ever get round to buying a car and if after road TAX, petrol TAX, car TAX and MOT, Insurance and of course petrol prices I still have any money left and can't afford that Chippendale desk, I may venture to this wonderful place buying something that sounds grubby and will inevitably ruin my weekend as I try to find the correct allen key to tighten the screw that holds the thing together. GODDAMN YOU KAMPRAD! YOU AND YOUR FLATPACKS!!
Toodles!
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